Welcome back to Menses Munchies, a feature just for us girls where I regularly spotlight sweet, calorific vegan treats that I've found help me chase away my menstrual camps and make me feel less like an ogre that's set on destroying the nearest village.
Real talk: periods are like Dementors, especially on the first day. Each time they roll around, they leave you feeling tired, listless, joyless, and completely miserable. Basically, for me, that time of the month is like having my own personal Dementor visit and suck the will to live right out of my body.
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| Only a slight exaggeration of how awful the first day feels. Also, chocolate helps you feel better while cramping and after a Dementor attack; coincidence?! |
If I could trade all of my worldly possessions to never feel that soul-sucking kind of intense pain ever again, I would. I might even trade my cat Mila for that, and I love her with all my heart!*
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| Isn't she the sweetest? (Answer: Yes, yes she is.) |
So, obviously, during such tremendously awful times, there's one food that can make things seem a bit sunnier (and chases away post-Dementor feels): chocolate.
Sometimes I'm proactive and stock up on vegan chocolates at Winners for just such emergencies, but when my chocolate cupboard** is bare, I turn to the next best thing: mug brownies. And I do mean mug brownies. None of that mug coffee cake or mug blondie or even mug birthday cake BS.
Nope, I'm talking about honest-to-Zod brownies that can be made in three minutes or less to quickly administer much needed doses of sugar, chocolate, and positive vibes before you pass out on your couch while watching old episodes of The Office.
The internet is ripe with vegan and gluten-free mug brownie recipes, so I give you free rein when it comes to finding your go-to recipe. Go crazy with trying out recipes until you find one that works for you. Personally, I've found that the Veganfatkid's recipe is perfection and should not be abandoned in times of need ( because I find that it's really ill-advised to try out a new recipe while Aunt Flo is in town).
Once you've hit the mug brownie recipe jackpot, though, I recommend making one -- or a few -- of these additions to make it even more epic:
- Stir into the brownie batter 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. each of cinnamon and cayenne pepper before cooking for a Mexican hot chocolate brownie
- Add a splash of rum/almond extract/mint extract to the brownie batter before sticking it in the microwave
- Stir in a big ol' tablespoon of your favourite nut butter once your mug brownie is ready (peanut butter is my go-to, but you do you, boo)
- Top the cooked mug brownie with a scoop or five or vanilla vegan ice cream
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| A terrible, yet sufficient, shot of my go-to mug brownie recipe, which I added cinnamon and cayenne pepper to before cooking, and then topped with some vanilla ice cream. |
What gross (yet very tasty and calorific) junk foods do you crave when you're hardcore PMSing? Do you have a Holy Grail mug brownie recipe? Let me know by commenting below or by tweeting my at @PickyBitchez.
* As I wrote that, I started tearing up, so no, I could never give her up, even if it meant a life free of shitty, searing uterine pain.
** No lie, I actually do have a specially designated PMS chocolate cupboard.
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