Menses munchies: Cinnamon buns are tasty, tasty lifesavers

By Giselle Wedemire

Update: It's recently come to my attention that due to a change in either the recipe or labelling of Safeway cinnamon buns, these are no longer vegan-friendly. This post has been updated to reflect the change in Safeway's cinnamon buns' vegan-friendliness, but has left the rest of the content untouched.

Welcome back to Menses Munchies, a feature just for us girls where I regularly spotlight sweet, calorific vegan treats that I've found help me chase away my menstrual camps and make me feel less like an ogre that's set on destroying the nearest village.

Some ideas are so great that they elicit extremely visceral reactions from others. I mean, I'm 99% sure that when people first heard about amazing ideas like sliced bread, or iPods, or sanitization, a lot of emotions were felt. I'm sure of this because that's exactly how I react whenever someone suggests I buy a cinnamon bun.

You see, I have a very hard-and-fast rule for myself: never make anything that requires yeast. Between the rolling, the kneading, the proving (and the second proving), I have zero patience for making yeasted baked goods because I value my time more than I value freshly baked bread. So when it comes to foods that require yeast and/or kneading, I am 100% on board with forking over cash for something pre-made.

While I like to think that I’m a pretty healthy person, during my own personal shark week I find that I need to have immense amounts of sugar and fat mainlined into my maw. And during such terrible times, I often turn to the most majestic accidentally vegan* convenience food ever: the Safeway cinnamon bun.

Menses munchies: Faux Starbucks ginger molasses cookies

By Giselle Wedemire
 
Welcome back to Menses Munchies, a feature just for us girls where I regularly spotlight sweet, calorific vegan treats that I've found help me chase away my menstrual camps and make me feel less like an ogre that's set on destroying the nearest village.

For me, PMS is a sneaky bugger that creeps up on me gradually like a tip-toeing Scooby Doo villain until it's finally on my heels. Before I know it - BAM - I'm sobbing into a bowl of ice cream while watching Sister Act 2. It's not even a sad movie, and yet this has definitely happened to me in the days leading up to my very own shark week.

During these times, sweet and terrible-for-me treats are a godsend, and for a while, my favourite vegan treat for PMS times was the ginger molasses cookie at Starbucks. When I first went vegan years ago, I had looked high and low on Starbucks' website, scoured the internet, and chatted with baristas before I eventually came to the conclusion that those chewy and bakery-soft morsels of heaven were indeed cruelty-free, especially since my super sensitive tummy never flipped a switch whenever I indulged.

Then, last year the coffee chain revamped its line of bakery treats by advertising that they had switched over their recipes to include 100% real butter in every product. Boo-urns, no more cookies for this vegan hormone factory.

Believe it or not, these are not actually Starbucks ginger molasses cookies.
Even better, these are homemade!

Menses munchies: Mug brownies make everything better

By Giselle Wedemire

Welcome back to Menses Munchies, a feature just for us girls where I regularly spotlight sweet, calorific vegan treats that I've found help me chase away my menstrual camps and make me feel less like an ogre that's set on destroying the nearest village.

Real talk: periods are like Dementors, especially on the first day. Each time they roll around, they leave you feeling tired, listless, joyless, and completely miserable. Basically, for me, that time of the month is like having my own personal Dementor visit and suck the will to live right out of my body.

Only a slight exaggeration of how awful the first day feels.
Also, chocolate helps you feel better while cramping and after a Dementor attack; coincidence?!

Menses Munchies: Jazzed up Daiya cheezecakes

By Giselle Wedemire

Welcome to a new feature just for us girls that I'd like to call Menses Munchies. In this feature, I plan on providing a monthly spotlight on sweet, calorific vegan treats that can help to chase away menstrual camps and make you feel less like an ogre that's set on destroying the nearest village.

For my inaugural Menses Munchies mention, I'd like to give a shoutout to Daiya's new(ish) vegan cheescakes, which, as I found out the other day, are perfect for lady time. You see, as I was just beginning to surf the crimson wave the other day, I found myself daydreaming about Daiya cheesecakes. I'm a bad vegan because up until this point -- almost a year since the company released their famed gluten-free and vegan cheesecakes to the public -- I had never taken the plunge and tried one. I blame the $9 price tag and my near-constant habit of being fiscally responsible. 

But the siren song of cheescake got louder while my increasingly painful cramps sucked my will to live, and I set off on a quest to find this mythical treat. I walked in a pained daze to my local health food store (Amaranth) to no avail. Grumpy, I then stomped to my neighbourhood Safeway, and was met with even more frustration. 

The elusive Daiya New York Cheezecake.